N.W.A...

No, I’m not talking about the group, I’m talking about actual Negroes With Attitudes! A male with an attitude can be classified as that guy who is just sensitive, gets mad at EVERYTHING, is always offended, always feels disrespected, etc., I could go on. This is a horrible trait, and I find that it’s becoming more common among the male breed. Bottom line, leave the attitudes to the ladies! Now, if I blatantly disrespected you, then be mad at that…but don’t get an attitude because I called you at 4:03 instead of 4:00 when you requested. Gentlemen, I beg of you, these attitudes have got to go! If I’m not fussing, then why should you be? The last thing that we need is someone who is going to pick fights for no reason…that’s our job! On top of this, some males try to uphold this hardcore persona, pretending to be tough in front of friends, then will be the first ones to try and recite the poetry they wrote for you behind closed doors! Whatever, tell that to the next chick! I don’t mind someone being a little sensitive and affectionate, but don’t start with the attitude every time we have a conversation. The more attitude you have, the closer you come to getting moved into the “sensitive” category, and we all know you don’t want that. Now if something is genuinely bothering you, then let's sit down and talk about it like adults. Don’t play the “I have an attitude, so I’m not speaking to you” game or say “Whatever” when you KNOW you’re upset.

Here’s a scenario that recently took place in my life…we’ll call the guy, Chris:

Chris calls me. We engage in small talk, he talks about his day, and is anxious to tell me the new plans he has for his life, so I listen. He tells me that he’s looking to go into the medical field, got this new job at a hospital doing whatever he’s going to be doing. I ask him if it pays well, he says yea, it pays x amount of dollars an hour. I say, “That’s good. You will be fine since you don’t really have any bills to pay.” Ding ding! He gets offended. He says, “What grown man do you know doesn’t have bills to pay??” with a lot of attitude in his voice. Keeps up with the attitude, and we hang up a couple of minutes after. Mind you, Chris is not grown at all. He’s 21, in college, still lives with his mother, doesn’t have a car, etc. I figure the most he has to pay is a phone bill, and whatever he gives to his mother to help around the house. Now if I was wrong, let me know. But I don’t think the attitude was necessary at all. All he had to say was, “Yes, I do have bills,” and if he really wanted to put me in my place, he could’ve told me what they were. No, he had to go the other route and get all upset, trying to storm off the phone like a little girl. This is not the first time Chris has done this either. Every time we speak (which isn’t often), he always gets an attitude, tells me I’m mean, blah blah blah. Those who know me know I’m very sarcastic-this I cannot change. For him, I’ve tried to tone it down a little, just so we can have a decent conversation. I don’t know what his problem is, but I do know that he is a certified N.W.A.

I need feedback on this. If I was wrong, then I’ll call and apologize. If not, then I’ll let him have his little attitude for 2 more weeks, until he decides to call spilling his guts to me, and then gets an attitude when I don’t respond the way he wants (and no, I’m not exaggerating-he does actually do this)! If you have had a similar experience, let us know! Your opinions are always valued.

Tip of the Iceberg

The Yung Berg comment. It's been popping up in conversation for a while but I didn't really want to write about it until I had everything I wanted to say together. I'm sure that everyone has already heard his shocking" disdain for dark skinned women. Now being a dark skinned woman myself, I could be extremely offended and easily go down the route of the "Oh hell no's", rolling my eyes, sucking my teeth, and all of that other mess. But I'm not a bird (shut up), so that's not what I plan on doing. Yung Berg not liking dark skinned women is not necessarily offensive to me. Why? Because Yung Berg is not attractive to me. He has a disgustingly uncanny resemblance to this guy who has been on my bra strap since God knows when. Even if he didn't remind me of this fiend, he kind of exemplifies everything I cannot stand in a Black man. I actually feel kind of bad for him. Besides a single that he came out with last summer, and a feature on a Ray-J hit, he doesn't really have much else going on for him. I'm assuming he threw what was left of his "career" away with this comment of his. But back to his actual comment, which was that he doesn't like dark butts. Before I get into that, I need a moment to laugh at the phrase "dark butts." Lmao ok I'm done. I do not have a problem with him not being attracted to dark skinned women. He's actually doing us a favor. But the main reason why it doesn't offend me is because it's HIS opinion. If he isn't attracted to women that are darker than him, which is what he said (I'll get to that in a bit), then that's all him. Who cares? Let him date whoever he wants to date. Although, beggars can't be choosers, they ARE allowed to have opinions of their own.

Now, Mr. Berg said that he didn't want to date anyone who was darker than him. Hmm. Apparently, the young fella hasn't looked in a mirror in a while because he's pretty darn light. Unless he's planning on going after a white or an albino, I don't know where he's going with this theory of his. That still doesn't bother me. I don't have a problem with Black men wanting to be with white women (this may have to be another blog entry). I myself am extremely attracted to a race of men different from mine and I wish somebody would get in an uproar about it. Mr. Berg has every right to be attracted to white women, Latino women, or whoever he prefers. The only problem I ever have with a Black man wanting to be with a white woman is when he puts a Black woman down and puts a white woman on a pedestal with reasons such as, "Black women have attitudes," or "They want too much." But like I said, this would probably have to be another entry, even though I'll probably never get to it because it is such a tiring topic. That is what Yung Berg did, though. He put down black women as a whole in favor of women of a lighter persuasion. And that was not cool. The irony of it all? His ex and baby's mom is a DARK SKINNED WOMAN. Good job, Berg.

Ms. Monae

An artist that I've taken quite a liking to goes by the name of Janelle Monae. She's signed under Bad Boy Records through her own label (Diddy always gets the good ones, huh?- let's hope it works out, we all know how Diddy is when he gets excited). Hailing from Kansas City, Kansas (didn't know anyone was actually from there), she's been out making a name for herself since 2003. The reason why I liker her so much is because her sound is a mixture of my favorite genres of music: soul and rock. She also adds a futuristic je ne sais quoi which completely singles her out. She has such a great range; her music is just so animated to me. She can go from "Violet Stars Happy Hunting" to "You" to "Sincerely, Jane". Also check out "Cindi", "It's Not Fair", and "Metropolis" (my favorites). She's definitely a new sound that you've never experienced. Give her a listen, you won't be sorry. And if you are, then I don't know what to tell you; maybe you shouldn't be listening to music.

The Name Game

We all desire the best out of life, right? Right. So why, then, is it such an issue when people decide that they ONLY want to wear designer threads? It’s said that fashion is not a label-which I completely agree with, however, I don’t see anything wrong with indulging in a few “name brand” items. Okay, I’m lying, more than a few. I’m not saying be draped from head to toe in Valentino, but I personally believe that every individual should own something that is of expensive taste. You may see this as being materialistic, but I see it as treating yourself to something nice. Many of us are in school and/or working, and quite frankly, I think we work too hard not to treat ourselves to the best, even as young adults. Designer apparel and accessories were not created just for adults-we deserve to wear them too!

Like Kanye said, “I’m like the fly Malcom X, buy any jeans necessary.” He’s absolutely right…I personally think designer denim is a MUST. Call it superficial if you want to, but I like the fit, the look, and the quality of a more expensive jean rather than some 2 for $50 bargain that you found at Wet Seal (you know, the one’s with the big fat “W” on them). And P.S…if you’re 18 years of age or older, you shouldn’t be shopping at Wet Seal anyway! But hey, that’s just my opinion. If you can’t afford designer denim, that’s understandable. By no means should you go broke or have to lack in other more important areas because you’re running to Bloomingdale’s to buy the latest Rock & Republic. By the way, just because something cost $250, doesn’t mean YOU have to pay $250 for it-bargains are everywhere! Anyways, for those that have the money and still want to be cheap-o’s, suit yourself. You’ll be the one upset when you throw your $20 jeans in the dryer and they shrink AND fade.

Back to other matters, I think it’s important for people to wear what they like, and if what they like cost more than what you’re used to paying, then so what! The same thing goes for people who choose not to indulge in designer items. I buy it because I know I’m worth it…if you think you’re only worth Tello’s material (or Rainbow for the New Yorkers out there), then Tello’s is what you should have. Oh yea, House of Dereon, Rocawear, Babyphat and the Girbaud jeans (with the strap on the knee) do NOT count as designer labels! I’m done now, seriously.

Agree, Disagree? Let us know! If you wanna know the good spots to get your stuff from, send us a message on facebook. And no, we will not direct you to Canal Street or 28th and Broadway...lmao

The "Fly" Factor?

We’ve all seen it. It’s been in Myspace captions, Facebook picture comments, statuses, in profiles, away messages, and pretty much anywhere people can write words to describe themselves or members of their crew-the word “fly.” According to urbandictionary.com, “fly” is defined as “cool, in style.” Even though this is true, I don’t believe it’s an excuse for EVERYONE to claim that they are fly, especially when they aren’t. Typically, I’ve noticed that most of the people who claim they are fly really aren’t at all. Unfortunately, there is no clear way to determine if someone is fly or not, so I’ve put together a couple of characteristics that I personally think weed people out.

I believe that being “fly” is the demeanor in which you carry yourself, and it has a lot to do with consistency. If you are well put together, looking neat and clean, hair done, shoe game right, outfit nice, on a REGULAR BASIS, then you are fly. We all have our off days, but come on! You can’t claim to be fly if you only get fly on the weekends. If you look like a bum five days out of the week, and decide that the weekend is the only time to put on something decent, then you are NOT fly, you are simply perpetrating. This alone eliminates half of the people I know from being fly…on to the next qualification.

People who are fly do NOT need to say they are fly; they exude “flyness” with their lifestyle and presence. When you see them, you already know they’re fly and quite frankly, I think it’s dumb to state the obvious. Let other people determine if you’re fly or not. That doesn’t mean you need to go dressing yourself up just to make sure that people like what you have on. Wear what’s comfortable to you and what you like, and you’ll be confident in yourself. Trust, other people will notice this, and will compliment you even at times when you don’t think you look up to par. However, it is NOT okay to say that you’re fly every chance you get…chances are you’re going to look stupid, and when people see you looking a mess, they’re going to laugh at you because you claim to be oh so fly.

Now before you get all bent out of shape, understand that we are stating our OPINION, a right that everyone has. Ours may be much closer to the truth than others but hey, what can you do? We aren’t trying to crush any spirits; rather, we are helping those who believe that they are on a level that they haven’t exactly reached. If you agree with us and have some more qualifications to being fly, let us know. If you think our qualifications are wack or a little off, let us know. Just remember, if you’re sitting there getting all riled up over this entry, chances are, you qualify as a perpetrator. If you want to disregard this entry because you think that you are killing the game with your fashion sense, by all means, go ahead. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Allow Me To Re-Introduce Myself....

Or us, rather. We are Ara and Dominique, hailing from Long Island and Staten Island, New York (respectively), and rising seniors at Boston College ('09!) We started this blog because we have a lot of thoughts racing through our minds, and we figured that we were better off sharing them with the world as opposed to being selfish and keeping them to ourselves. We do, however, have to apologize beforehand because we are pretty random, but we can usually tie it all together. We also were inspired by our good friends Modi http://dctobc.com and Ricardo http://internetgoon.blogspot.com, and decided to create a blog specifically for the ladies. Almost all females like to talk about fashion, celebrities, and of course-men. This blog was created to discuss these three topics, and whatever additional issues we feel are worth talking about. I’m sure you’re wondering: if we’re so random, why is our blog called Urbane Thoughts? Well you're not blind, you should've noticed the definition of urbane at the top, so we don’t have to explain that part again. The name "Politics As Usual" comes from one of our favorite artists, Jay-Z. Now, although we are different and random, we’re just oozing with sophistication and charm. Believe us. Anyways, feel free to leave us comments on our blogs, or any other feedback you may have. Well, there's no need to carry this out-after all, it's only an introduction, so just relax, and be entertained.

Oh yea, before we forget, we are extremely opinionated people. Don't take our opinions as being mean or offensive, we're just trying to have a little fun. If at any point you do become extremely offended, well then...DON'T READ OUR BLOG. : )

-Management